An eclipse and a revelation

Yesterday I felt really discouraged and downright sad regarding my aspiration of becoming a published writer. It was so bad, that when I returned home from the evil day job, I cried. Not a soft, quiet cry. An ugly, red-nose, can’t breathe sobfest.  I’m not a patient person by nature. I’ve worked hard to make my dreams come true and they are so close, yet seem so far away. They are also (at this point in time) not within my control, which is hard for an OCD, type A personality. I went to bed feeling dejected and lost.

I woke up this morning dreading work, knowing it will be “hell day.” The day job is a necessary evil if I want to subsist on more than “beans and taters.” As I staggered to the coffeemaker, the hubby followed me, having spent a restless night in the recliner with his chronic back pain. And then I remembered this morning was the lunar eclipse. Together we stumbled outside, coffee in hand and three cats swarming underfoot. Witnessing the blood moon lunar eclipse with my Devoted Hubby holding my hand grounded me. His support has always been there, even when he felt my writing was “just a hobby.” When I gaze up at the night sky, I am always amazed. I never tire of looking into the heavens and seeing the possibilities. I grew up in the age of space exploration, after all. This morning I realized my dreams are close, they aren’t dead. They’re merely eclipsed in darkness for a short while, but the light will return. And with it, the promises of my happily ever after.

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4 thoughts on “An eclipse and a revelation

  1. Hang in there!!! It’s always darkest before the dawn. I can assure you that having to fight for this dream to happen will make you a tougher published author when the time comes. There will still be rejections and letdowns of a different nature. You will still have to pick yourself up again and again. Learning how to battle through the demons of doubt and despair NOW will make you stronger and better equipped to deal with this industry’s constantly changing landscape.

    Hugs!

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  2. Jillian here- I can totally relate as a fellow sufferer of Type A personality. When we can’t control how things progress, it’s tough. Hang in there and remember, it’s all going to work out – with or without us prodding it along- I have to remind myself of that all the time. You are blessed to have an awesome husband and great support system. Hug him daily!

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  3. Ahhhh. You wrote the journey’s anguish and expectations and resilience, all with a dreamy and romantic quality. I’m traveling alongside, and looking forward to the jubilation when we finally achieve that first publication. Best wishes!

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