Yesterday I went to Atlanta to meet some of my favorite romance authors. I went with my dear friend, Jill Odom, who is also an author and Kelley, a blogger with the fabulous Smut Book Junkies, http://smutbookjunkie.com I brought the few books I wanted signed and waited with nervous anticipation at each author’s table. I consider myself a writer. I think I have a decent vocabulary. But when I’m fangirling, I seem to lose the ability to string a coherent set of sentences together. This is a typical exchange when I meet an author. They are my celebrities.
Author: “Good morning.”
Me: Blank stare, mouth moving, nothing coming forth.
Author: “I see you have my book. Would you like me to sign it?”
Me: Say something stupid! Nods.
Author: Reaches for the book clutched in my sweaty hands. “Should I make this out to you?”
Me: Another barely perceptible nod. Inside my head I’m telling her how wonderful her characterizations are, how her plot reeled me in. How I own every book she’s written on my Kindle and these paperback books are my second copies. Out of my dry, cotton mouth: not a word.
Author: Signs book and hands it back to me with a smile. “Thank you for coming.”
Not budging, I search for something else to say. At any moment I’m sure the assistant next to the author is going to kick me out of the way, like Ralphie when he finally sees Santa in A Christmas Story.
Me: Do something, say something! I buy more books to buy more time. The Author smiles and signs them, raising her eyebrows as if to say “Anything else?”
Me: Finally my gift of speech returns. I blurt out, “I love your books! Thank you!”
Jill rolls her eyes and drags me away with a reassuring pat on the arm. On the way home I think of everything I wanted to say and didn’t. *sigh* Next time…